dental debut

can't believe its been over a year and half since this post about Ellia's first trip to the dentist... and here we go with Remae! kinda funny, but i said the exact same thing to the hygienist this time around... "Yes, I'm going to be THAT mom...so bear with me" while snapping away with my camera. Just like Ellia, Remi was a little apprehensive but a real trooper with no tears. It helped having big sis go first and get her cleaning out of the way. She definitely wasn't sure this is something she wanted to go through with, but the bribe of the sugar-free lollipop I knew was coming at the end was enough to keep cooperative. Yet another milestone that I'm just not ready for...everything just comes and goes so quickly. Soaking in every moment in joy and thankfulness is all I can do about it though! :)

I gotta say...this place is AWESOME. They are purely a pediatric office and do a tremendous job. I'd recommend to anyone who was looking for a place (Hines Little Smiles, Gahanna). 

 somehow I can see this look remaining in her repertoire for teenage years

 love the hand :)

 all smiles when it was over

annnnd the lollipops...sugar-free, of course ;)

a matter of perspective

disclaimer: a lot of this is spouting straight from the heart and the head without much filter...so if you easily offend, check back another day.

ever have someone use or explain a verse, one that you feel you know like the back of your hand, or have at least heard over and over, and the Spirit reveals it to you in a whole new way?
I've had this happen to me often in my walk with Jesus and am so thankful each and every time... its like tasting a sweet morsel and fills you right up.
I often struggle with fear of life's possibilities... something bad could happen to my girls or to Peter, tragedy could strike at any moment in so many different ways, and would I be able to handle it? I am ashamed to admit how often thoughts similar to these run through me. Somehow in my self-absorbed nature, I get a warped feeling that I somehow have a little bit of control over the things that might happen to me.... crazy thoughts like "well just as soon as I ask for a dose of patience, feeling that I need it to grow and mature, God will answer it by giving me a new child, with disabilities and will truly teach me how to be patient.... so maybe if I hold back a little on the whole 'I'm all in Lord', then I'll escape some possible hurts and challenges." I know these thoughts are a little over the edge...but just being brutally honest.
and its not just that, not just the severe error that feeling somehow something I do or don't do or hold back on or let go of will control the circumstances I face... but it also leads straight down a path of "its all about me", even if not intentional, the self-indulgent thinking that the Lord revolves all things around what would best teach me a lesson is a powerful misstep.
Someone mentioned the verse "and at times we are as sheep, led to the slaughter for his name's sake" resounded powerfully in my heart and the light bulb went on. Though nothing changed in the way things work, something changed in my PERSPECTIVE of the way things work, and it made all the difference. To live IS Christ. Its all about Him. Everything happens to bring about the best possible display of Glory unto Him. So whatever happens to me, despite the severity in my eyes, He chose it to happen because at the end of it all, it is what MUST happen to bring Him the MOST glory. So although He truly "works all things for the good of those who love Him" and takes the time to discipline, train, love and mold me, the bottom line is...its all about His glory.
Somehow in my mind, grasping that simple switch in perspective, allows me to truly believe and trust that this is not a performance-based relationship...even though logically I knew it all along, I can grasp with my heart that nothing I feel, do, vocalize, etc. changes the outcome of what He has already determined for His glory. I can rest assured that I can't say or do something in a way that causes Him to bestow torturous circumstances to occur for the sake of a lesson learned. I can truly look at everything that happens, with honest joy that somehow, in His divine plan, this (whatever it happens to be) given circumstance is being used to bring about the highest glory upon Him who is deserving of it all. And what an honor to be a part of that work.

I read this brief portion of an article that summarized my thoughts well:

Generally, the shepherds of Israel were zealous in caring for their sheep. They protected them from danger; led them into green pastures, and beside still waters. They nursed them when bruised or sick. But the final purpose of all this care was that the shepherd would lead his sheep to the slaughter when it suited his purpose. And even so it is with us, for the destination of those whom our Shepherd leads in the paths of righteousness, is death.“Take up your cross and follow me,” said the Master. Taking up a cross symbolizes walking on the road to death. And this is just what it means to follow Jesus. He is our Good Shepherd, but previously he walked in the very same path in which he is now leading us. He was “brought as a lamb to the slaughter,” and we are now following in his steps. Not only do we remain in the narrow way by hearkening to his voice, but we need also to trace his steps, and walk in them.

We should not expect, then, that the paths of righteousness are always paths of pleasantness. True, we have the joy of the Lord while walking in this narrow way. But often the way is difficult. From start to finish, it is a way of sacrifice so complete that it ends in death. Jesus was afflicted and suffered, and he finally died upon the cross. We cannot expect that the narrow way will be easier for us than it was for our Master. But we can endure all things if we keep the thought before us that the way in which we are being led is “for his name’s sake.”

So once again the Spirit has satisfied my sweet-tooth with the delight of Him and has "taken my thoughts captive"...taken hold of something that was reeling in my head, easily headed straight for disastrous thinking,  and turned it into a source of exceptional joy, purpose and excitement............ again.


And my journey of an exchanged life, a Spirit-filled, Spirit-led, Spirit-dependant life, continues.

finger feat

so so proud of my little girl and her recent feat! ellia's been sucking her first finger, or "my one" as she calls it, since she first found it as a newborn... 4+ years! when she turned 3 we started occasionally trying to nix the habit but never really enforced anything. at her last dentist appointment about 2 months ago, they said it was time to get serious about it. ive explained how continuing to suck her finger would hurt her teeth (and any other negative things I could think of) hoping that would merely be a good start. she wasn't seeming to catch on so we starting mentioning possibly putting a band aid or something on there as a reminder to her, but hadn't gotten that far yet.

One day she told us (with a very matter-of-fact-ive-really-thought-through-this-and-this-is-what-ive-decided tone) "I'm just not going to suck my finger anymore." We found it cute and funny and said "okay-great idea!" with no thought to it actually meaning much.
2-3 weeks later and I haven't seen a finger in that mouth once, even at bedtime. We've been amazed and so proud at the realization that she had just made up her mind and stuck to it. I'm not sure what actually triggered the decision, but no matter!

Today we decided it was time for a little reward, so we headed to Toy's R Us. We let her pick out something she wanted, which turned into more of a day-trip than we planned :) but hey! we were even able to use it as a little math-learning-time. She was given an amount to spend, so she would look at the prices and determine if it was too expensive or within her budget range. I was impressed at how well she did that... all the way through the store. (she was especially excited to discover she could, in fact, pick out more than one item as long as it was under her given amount = SCORE!)

here's are "big" girl with her chosen reward treats... a kindergarten learning activity book and a dora playdoh set!

shoo gnat, shoo!

Jesus has been doing a bit of tilling in my heart recently. I say tilling because thats exactly how it feels.... you can only imagine if soil had feelings, how little it would actually enjoy being plowed, raked, bulldozed. Fortunately for me and where my faith rests, despite the uneasiness of being turned over and prepared, I cling to the hope of cultivation: being developed for growing and maturing.

The specific area of work has been in affirmation. When I say that word, it doesn't quite seem to grasp the whole picture/concept that Im feeling, but I'll stick with it for lack of a better one. I think being a woman makes this idea a particular struggle and constant battle. (If I slip and say "we", please know I am only pointing my finger to "I").

This issue pops up to me like a really annoying gnat every so often, at some points being more irritating and loud than usual. That annoying gnat is many times the voice of satan, whispering insecurities to draw me down.

I've found myself letting my mind wander away in comparisons of other people, of other moms, of other marriages, of other women of God. For me, the struggle is not with discontentment... I am beyond thankful - as much as I can with my limited perception, I have a pretty good grasp on how amazingly blessed I am. Its more an issue of focus... how often am I focusing on how other people are doing things, and on the level at which I feel I'm currently being affirmed for what I'm doing.

It doesnt take long though... when those thoughts take over, that the Truth I have, acknowledge, and posses tugs at my heart. Well...its been tugging, and I've been listening.

Though not an easy thing to do... I needed to remind myself (once again) about who I am in Christ. The reminder of not only who I am but where my affirmation lies.... exclusively in HIM.

He has me (myself and my marriage and my family) on a very uniquely designed journey that canNOT be compared to anyone elses. And along that journey, He longs to be the sole source of my joy, my hope, my strength, my affirmation.

As He's been drilling this home for me over the last week or so, I thought I'd jot down the not-so-subtle reminders I have been getting. So here are some good reminders to me (especially to look back on whenever that little gnat resurfaces), and for anyone else who needs a little pick-me-up...

first from the devotion I woke up to in Jesus Calling (coincidence? i think not. appropriately timed by the Spirit I think!), followed by a whole host of biblical affirmations I own in Christ:

"Stop Judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people. This produces feelings of pride or inferiority; sometimes a mixture of both. I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made for him or her. Comparing is not only wrong; it is also meaningless. Don't look for affirmation in the wrong places; your own evaluations, or those of other people. The only source of real affirmation is My unconditional Love. many believers perceive Me as an unpleasable Judge, angrily searching out their faults and failures. Nothing could be farther from the truth! I deid for your sins, so that I might clothe you in My garments of salvation. This is how I see you: radiant in my robe of righteousness. When I discipline you, it is never in anger or disgust; it is to prepare you for face-to Face fellowship with Me throughout all eternity. Immerse yourself in My loving Presence. Be receptive to My affirmation, which flows continually from the throne of grace."

Sarah Young (Jesus Calling)

“God’s truth – his Word – stands forever.” Isaiah 40:8
“God gives me power when I am worn out and strength when I am weak.” Isaiah 40:29
“God’s principles are perfect. They are entirely worthy of my trust.” Psalm 119:138
“With God in my life, all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
“Jesus keeps pruning me so that I will be even more productive for God.” John 15:2
“The water Jesus gives takes away my thirst altogether.” John 4:14
“I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God.” Psalm 139:14
“I follow God’s principles because I love him.” John 14:15
“I can never be separated from the love of God.” Romans 8:35-39
“God’s love is made complete in me when I obey his principles.” 1 John 2:5
“As I draw near to God, he draws near to me.” James 4:8
“God’s discipline is always good for me because it means I share in His holiness.” Hebrews 12:10
“I display a new nature because I am a new person, created in God’s likeness – holy and true.” Ephesians 4:24
“The secret is that Christ lives in me and I have assurance of sharing his glory.” Colossians 1:27
“Nothing can separate me from God’s love that is in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:39
“God satisfies me when I am thirsty and fills me with good things when I am hungry.” Psalm 107:9
“I keep God’s words in my heart. They are health to my whole body.” Proverbs 4:20-22
“It is God’s Spirit that gives me eternal life. My human effort accomplishes nothing.” John 6:63
“God is for me so no one can ever be against me.” Romans 8:31
“In God I live and move and exist.” Acts 17:28
“I defeat this evil world by trusting Christ to give me victory.” 1 Peter 5:5
“By God’s grace and through faith in Jesus, I have a full and eternal life.” Ephesians 2:8
“Through prayer, the peace of God guards my heart & mind.” Philippians 4:7
“By God’s grace and through faith in Jesus, I have a full and eternal life.” Ephesians 2:8
“I find strength in the Lord my God.” 1 Samuel 30:6
“God strengthens me because my heart is fully committed to him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9
“I have rest in my soul because I go to Jesus when I am weary.” Matthew 11:28-29
“Because I have been born again, I will see the Kingdom of God.” John 3:3
“I do not fear because God strengthens me.” Isaiah 41:10
“I am full with the joy of the Lord.” Isaiah 42:10